[brutal clipping]
Narrator:
Maia sets down her cup and walks off into the woods.
Luther: [unspoken]
YES!!
[spoken, to Blackbird]
Does this sort of thing happen to you often, or just when I'm around?
Blackbird: [shakes her head in resignation]
No. Things like this just seem to happen to me. I was about to ask you the same question.
[pause]
Narrator:
Amazingly, Luther doesn't actually look that surprised.
Blackbird:
Ever hear the expression, "With friends like these...?"
She worries me more as a friend than the Drow do as an enemy. At least I can feel comfortable killing them on sight -- bar one, anyway. As a friend, I might accidentally trust her someday. Tiamat's backside! Everybody always told me trusting Alaric was a big mistake. Alaric seemed positively stable compared to Maia. It must be all that running around in the woods hugging trees and eating pinecones. Does something to their minds.
Narrator:
This one lost Luther. His experience with people who throw flames is limitted to this morning. His experience with tree hugging, pine cone eating, elves is zero.
Luther:
You mean there's more out there where *she* came from?
Oh good.
Blackbird:
More than I care to think about. And they all seem to be crazy like her. Well ... Huey's OK, but she doesn't really count. I hope they don't ruin her. All the others, though...
[eyes widening]
She threw a bloody fireball at me! For suggesting we restrain that thing that had a fun time tossing you around the camp! You just don't *do* that. It's not polite!
[said with remarkable understatement]
Narrator:
Hearing someone refer to having a fireball tossed at them with the same tone of voice one would talk about lurking in doorways or forgetting a thank-you-note is just the last straw.
Luther:
[expletive deleted]
Normally, I lead a pretty boring life. Tournament here, joust there. Strike a knightly pose for Robin. Maybe an occasional bar fight, just to break up the monotony.
Blackbird: [unsuccessfully trying to interject]
Well...
Luther:
Can you believe this? One day, just one day, I decide to listen to Hesketh.
[confession]
OK, I admit it. It wasn't Hesketh. It was the Baron.
But, just one day, I decide to try it. "Be the proper knightly knight," he says. "Proper knightly knights get laid," he says.
Blackbird: [jaw hits the floor]
He said *what*? Did he really say that? Richard!
Luther: [shrugs]
Well, that was the gist of it, anyway.
"Let's give it a shot and see," I says. Sure can't do any worse.
Look at the day so far -- and I'm not even done with BREAKFAST yet!
[stammers a bit, biting back a string of expletives]
Yup, this is going to be a day, awright.
[rubs his back]
I can just [ouch] feel it.
Blackbird: [smiles, blushes a little]
I have to be honest with you -- I really don't get fireballs tossed at me all that often.
[unspoken]
(No more than once or twice a year, if you lump fireballs, lightning bolts, and jets of flame all together)
Stop that!
[aloud]
If I had really stopped to think about it, I think I might have peed myself.
Cheer up. That cat could not have felt any worse than the horse -- you are walking around already.
Luther:
True.
Blackbird:
[a flip comment comes to mind and she says it without thinking about it]
Proper knightly knights don't whine if they expect to get laid.
[then she realizes...]
[unspoken]
Oops. Wrong thing to say. That can be taken too many ways...
Ed.K:
We've got a problem here. I'll try to correct it -- Luther wasn't whining about the injuries, he was commenting on the fact that the day is starting off a bit odd, even by his standards.
Stu:
This is exactly why she knew when she said it that it was a bad thing to say -- it can be taken a lot of ways. Your interpretation isn't how she meant it. She wasn't talking about the injuries either. I'll let her explain...
Ed.K:
No, he didn't miss that other meaning. Just didn't say anything.
Luther: [surprised, a little angry]
Huh? Naw, you got me all wrong. Heck, the ride wasn't nearly as rough as your average bar fight. No big deal.
It's just.... well....You know how you get out of bed some mornings and something happens to let you know that this is going to be a day to remember? It must happen to you all the time. I was just saying that today's warning was...well...less subtle than usual.
That's all.
Blackbird: [apologetically]
I'm sorry. That's not how I meant it. I wasn't talking about your cat-powered trip around the camp. You handled that quite well. I just meant ...
[stammering]
... I meant that you should be thankful for days like these. The days when nothing happens -- those frighten me, 'cause they make me start wondering what it would be like if every day was like that. A lot of the people in the towns I pass through live like that -- every day the same until it all blends together. The thought of living like that scares me. I've been a lucky girl so far: my life has been very strange and dangerous.
[unspoken]
Thank Bahamut he didn't pick up the third implication.
Luther:
Never thought about it that way. Makes sense, though.
Blackbird: [aloud, trying to veer off]
I saw Richard limping around this morning. He said he was sparring with you. Who won? Is that when you had your conversation?
Luther:
Yeah. We talked a while, we slapped each other around awhile.
Decent fellow, the Baron. I'd expected he'd be a real stuffed shirt. But, he's not like that. At least, not that I could see. You known him long?
Blackbird:
Years. He's one of my closest friends in a strange way. We fight almost every time we see each other. I call him a hypocritical, self-righteous windbag and he calls me a duplicitous, infantile bitch. Then we make up and have a wonderful time together. It's quite a challenging relationship to maintain. I'm always having to think up new ways to antagonize him. [barest hint of a smile]
Luther: [smiling]
We should trade notes some time.