Stu:
Glad I thought to resend that take. Did you also get the potion list?
Neil:
Yes.
...
Stu:
I gave the poor retainer a name. He deserves it!
Neil:
NO! He doesn't get a name just like that.
Stu:
Why not?
Part of the scene on the road that you never let me finish was that Blackbird wanted to get a little friendlier with the guy. People like him, the detail men behind the ones in power, are always very good people to be friends with.
Neil:
Sorry, I thought we had that one worked out. It takes alot of effort, but finally he will stumble out that his name is Gerd. Blackbird realizes that he is rarely called by name, and that it took her charming powers to get it out of him. He is smitten with her, but she suspects that is the case for *many* of Freidrich's consorts.
....
Stu:
Also: clarification. I read it that it is Brandon telling the retainer to tell Blackbird she is welcome more tonight than last. That right?
Neil:
If that's what it sounded like, that's what it must have meant. Does Stu have a need to know that Blackbird doesn't? In other words, GM doesn't feel a need to answer that question.
Stu:
NO! I mean I wasn't clear on who made the statement -- Blackbird isn't reading it, she's hearing it spoken, there would have been no confusion about who spoke. It was either Brandon [to retainer]: "If you see Blackbird tell her that she's more welcome tonight...." Or Retainer [to Brandon]: "If you see Blackbird, tell her she's more welcome..." I think it was a reasonable question. I'm not asking for meta info here, just what the character would have observed.
Neil:
OOPS. Your read is correct, Brandon is giving orders to Gerd.
Stu:
Oh, by the way, you read her *perfectly* on her reaction to Brandon's brush-off of her request. :-)
Neil:
Thanks, it seemed soooo natural that it would be her response. Or you were about to be hit for "bad temper" points.
Stu:
Also, am I just misreading the comments above, or are you in a bad mood? You seem a little terse. Something I said?
Neil:
No. If I was I'd say I was (which I did the one time I was in a pissy mood while writing). There are times that it is helpful to be torqued off when I write some of this stuff. Writing Bel at the top of his lungs was an adrenal trip- I couldn't do it while tired, but I was tired when I got done.
What I am doing (and this may apply a bit to the question below) is adopting a uniformly terse attitude when players encroach GM territory. Some things that I want kept secret, or that I want not to need to specify until required, will generate terse need-to-know non-commital response. It's an effort to have a style of game where players have doubts and are forced to have their characters react accordingly.
...
Stu:
Oh, this may again be no-need-to-know, but you're making a very strong point of having Blackbird's thoughts dwell on what a great time she had that night and how hot she gets whenever she thinks of it, which is most of the time.
Neil:
Correct observation.
Stu:
I have these mixed feelings about this. In some ways I'm glad, because it counters my natural bias to downplay the significance -- reminds me to keep her in a state of conflict. On the other hand, sometimes I think you're laying it on a little thick. I hesitate to say, 'stop' because I've found you usually know what you're doing, and you've never overplayed her before.
Neil:
The memories of my mis-spent youth are strong in certain areas. I used to know someone like Blackbird (except she wasn't beautiful) and we used to talk quite a bit. I have tuned that *back* a bit in the case of Blackbird; she's a bit more together and less preoccupied.
I might be laying it on a little thick - feel free to edit, I may re-edit.
Stu:
It may be a good read on how impulsive she is, letting whatever the current strongest emotion is carry her off a bit. On the other hand, she's very devoted to people she cares about, that's what I wanted to model in her "Sense of Duty" disadvantage, and it would really mess with her mind to think she was selling out Belerian, Ti or others she cared about. And she's a lot harder on herself than anyone else is about things like that (see some of the deltas below). In that sense (I'm free assicating here, bear with me) you may be right. The impulsive highly emotional side of her would be taken with her experience with Brandon and would conflict with the loyal side of her. I think her emotions would be tempered, though, by the fact the witnessing Belerian's mutilation has a prior and stronger claim on her emotions.
Like I said above, I hesistate to say 'stop,' you usually know what you are about, and this isn't meant as a criticism. I guess I'm just logging that I'm taking note of the trend and trying to figure out how to work with it.
If you have any thoughts you could share with me on the subject -- how you think she should be reacting, etc, please share them with me. Thanks.
Neil:
So far, so good. One of my reads on Blackbird is that no one flogs her as hard as she does.
...
Narrator:
In an effort to quit daydreaming about Brandon, she sets off to get a glimpse of him.
Blackbird:
No, it's because I want to get a look at him in motion.
Narrator:
She does manage to sneak up on his practice. She watches his fencing closely. He uses Morgenstern's defense. Noted for how deceptive it appears, Morgenstern requires great skill. An unpracticed blade will often appear to see holes in the defense. They are traps, with counter moves already prepared. It can only be beaten a few ways. One is to just defend; Morgenstern is rather difficult to attack from. Another is to use extreme strength against it - like Wolf used - to render the subtle moves inadequate, forcing a normal, stronger defense. The most deadly is to out-finesse it, something Blackbird's father does.
The men take a break from the action, giving her a chance to get a good look at each one. Some look vaguely familiar. She can't decide if she has seen them on the streets of Harrogate or if they were with him on that night. They each get a drink to cool off a bit, sword practice at this level is hot and sweaty work.
With a bit of a start, Blackbird realizes that they aren't the only ones hot and panting. She'd be irritated if it didn't feel so good.
As the swordplay resumes, she thinks she sees a weakness. Then it dawns on her what weakness she sees - it would be quite vulnerable to one of Ti's two-katana sequences, one that she hates to defend against, becuase the one that gets you is the two-handed blow, not the one handed one you were worried about, and it hurts like hell when the rattan informs you that it's simulating cutting you in half. It would hurt even more if she hadn't discovered that if she ignores the pain she can reach in and tickle him, which usually leads to more pleasant things.
Blackbird: [only slightly irritated with herself]
Swordplay, not foreplay. You are looking for exploitable weaknesses. Some move that will catch him with his pants - damn it! - down.
That was an accident. Poor choice of phrases.
No it wasn't.
Yes it was.
Wasn't.
Was.
I'm glad Softglove isn't anywhere near here.
Why? Are you into older men now?
Oh Shut up!
Narrator:
Before that goes any further...
Blackbird: [cutting in]
Now you are doing it! Cut it out!
[growling]
I'm going to *kill* the narrator.
Narrator: [looking carefully over his shoulder]
If I don't kill you first...
Blackbird: [becomes notably silent!]
Narrator:
... Freidrich's nameless retainer shows up and informs Brandon that Lord Jhereg, along with James and his other leaders, have accepted the invitation to dine this evening with Friedrich and Brandon. Friedrich will be told when he gets up, and Brandon has the retainer go make arrangements with his staff. Brandon also tells him that if he should see Blackbird of the Anchor, she is to be told that she is more welcome tonight than last.
Blackbird: [rolling her eyes, unspoken]
I'll bet. The entire camp probably heard me last night. How humiliating.
[very softly, just barely audible in her own thoughts]
Nah, they're just jealous...
[thinking]
Wolf, you're a smart one. It's not a duel I want with Brandon. Not a fair fight. She remembers his words. "Sing first, smile, he fight *for* you."
It's not going to be easy that way, but unlike combat, time is on my side in this contest. I'm still looking for exploitable weaknesses. I just have more places to look than on the practice field.
[steps out onto the field nonchalantly, approaching where Brandon, the retainer and the others are standing]
Blackbird: [to the retainer, friendly]
Consider the message delivered. Thank you.
[aloud, to Brandon]
Sire, if you have finished with your practice, then would you consider accompanying me on a ride? My horse has spent too much time lately trailing behind a wagon. He and I shall both enjoy it, [smiles brightly] but I would enjoy it more with company.
[unspoken]
Why do I get so turned on by this guy? This is unreal. I hate him. (Do you still?) Listen. I'm not anyone's plaything. One night in the sack does *not* wrap me around *anyone's* finger. Especially not his. (Sure. Keep telling yourself that.)
Brandon: [wipes sweat off his forehead]
I've not finished.
I might suggest that you ride your horse throughout the other encampments today. The men are eager for news, Ridenour's men and the Royals grow bored keeping the rest in line. Your wagon will be safe nearby. Do be sure to return this evening, you will have a much larger audience to play for. -
Blackbird: [irritated but it doesn't show, unspoken]
I'll bet.
Brandon:
- The leaders of the expedition will be dining here tonight.
Blackbird: [still pleasant on the outside, but not so inwardly]
BASTARD!
Run along and play little girl, but be sure to come back tonight so that I can show you off!
I've jilted better than you before.
(Name two)
[mental pause]
I've kept better, and I can name two. I'd take Ti or Bel over this guy any day.
(Really. You've hardly seen Bel since you were 14 years old. He's a stranger to you. You were having doubts after your last meeting.)
Well, Ti--
(--is about a thousand miles away.)
He loves me!
(But do you love him?)
Yes! I told him!
(You also told him, when all the pretty talk is stripped away, that you'd drop him like a hot potato for Belerian. Oh, yeah, you're a regular pillar of devotion.)
It wasn't like that!
(That's what it seemed like. You use him so badly it's disgusting. And the poor, sweet thing patiently lets you. He'd be better off without you.)
NO!
(Yes. Just about everybody in the world is better off without you, 'duplicitous bitch.' Brandon is about the only one you could ever court with a clear conscience, because he's the only one who can sling it back at you worse than you can dish it out)
SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I can't do that to Belerian. I promised.
(Duplicitous bitch)
... [quietly anguished] no ...
[she mentally flips a switch. it's showtime]
[aloud, pleasantly]
Until this evening then.
[she goes, but the inward conflict rages on...]
You've just doubled the bill against you, Brandon Harrogate.
(Ohhhhh does that mean twice as many nights with him before the big event?)
Shut up!
(And just make noises at the appropriate times, right?)
Narrator:
Luckily, no one gets in her way as she leaves the immediate area.
Back at her wagon, she slams the saddle onto Rocinante's back with enough ferocity to make him snort and stamp and look back at her in alarm.
Blackbird: [pauses, takes a deep breath, scratches Rocinante where he likes it, just at the edge of the saddle blanket]
I'm sorry, fella. I don't want you mad at me. You, Richard and Reggi are about the only ones here I'm not putting on a show for.
[she finishes cinching the girth, and starts to mount. Looks at the leg she has just raised to the stirrup, and throws her head back in exasperation.]
A dress. I'm wearing a dress. And not a side-saddle in sight. Hang on Roci, time for my next change.
[goes back in, changes to boots, riding breeches and a blouse that she hopes is feminine enough to make up for the lack of a dress]
OK, Roci, let's try this again.
Narrator:
She slings her lute over her back and swings up into the saddle, and urges Rocinante onto the main path through the camp, already nearly worn bare with the passage of men and animals.
Blackbird: [unspoken]
(You're so mad at him, you're going to go right off and do what he told you to do, like a good little puppy.)
Aaaargh. It *is* my job, you know!
(Doing what he tells you?)
You know what I meant!
(I think I do.)
Narrator:
She stops a soldier in the camp and asks him about the neighborhood -- where the other encampments are, and how far they are. With the information he gives her, she sets off, making the rounds of the camps.
It's amazing how much of a crowd a pretty, outgoing girl can attract in a camp full of soldiers. Make her bright, talented and full of songs and stories and you've got a regular mob. She notes the uniforms of Her Grace's Royal Army and of James Ridenour's household troops keeping order among the riff-raff.
She can barely tear herself away from each group she stops at. The realm is a busy place, lately, and she has no problem feeding them news. The shakeups in Devonshire, the recognition of a "higher" order of the church in Hudson, the massacre in northern Hudson -- even news as old as the death of the Cardinal of Lethbridge is still of interest to them, not because they haven't heard it before, but because Blackbird, who was there when the party returned to the Free City, and who accompanied the body back to Lethbridge, is able to describe parts of the event in greater detail than they have heard before. It is one of Blackbird's less dramatic, but personally significant, pieces of acting that she is able to tell the story without crying.
Blackbird:
... he saw a great wound open in his companion's back -- as if an invisible sword had cut into him. And such it was. Though his Eminence could not see the foe, still he stepped in, swinging his weapon, hoping to hit by the grace of Bahamut, or at least to distract the enemy from his injured companion. But the Drow warrior, cloaked by their fell magic, evaded his attack and struck two thrusts of his cursed sword to the cardinal's face, cleaving his skull...
... days I sat on the boat, with his body next to me. Every heart on board was heavy and the boat seemed to move slowly toward its destination, but too quickly for me, for I knew I would have to witness the grief of his lady, the Witch of Lethbridge...
Narrator:
The telling of that tale reminds her of Titus, and lessons he taught her. Not just lessons in reading and writing, but lessons in honesty, honor, mercy, forgiveness and compassion for others -- all the qualities he thought noble in men. She does not think she could tell him about what she is doing now with Brandon, and that thought sits on her heart like yet another stone added to her burden of guilty thoughts.
But for the first time of the day, she can keep the warring emotions at bay look enough to ponder things. Her lust for revenge. Her desire for Brandon. How close those two have become, perhaps hopelessly intertwined? Of duty. Love of Ti and Bel.
Blackbird: [unspoken - in the middle of a long instrumental]
Is this how Ti does it? Thinks all of these things through. Forcing resolution among conflicting emotions?
Narrator:
But she can't bring it to closure. But the progress is like a submerged stone in a raging stream - she knows that she can cling to it, find it again, and improve on it.
She senses that something in her has changed, irrevocably. And something familiar seems lost. It takes a second to put it together. It's a matter of trade-offs. The precious things she must give up to attain the things she wants - when she wants it all. It isn't as easy as picking a path, but harder; spending something hard earned (irreplaceable) and hoping the deal is worth it.
Blackbird: [unspoken]
(It's called being an adult)
And it's no fun at all.
[oddly, there is no argument to that statement]
Narrator:
The sense of loss triggers a depression that hits hard enough to stagger her, destroying the chord she was playing.
Blackbird: [smiles brightly]
Ow! Fingernail.
Narrator:
And no one notices that her eyes are wetter than they might otherwise be.
...
In addition to telling stories, Blackbird also listens -- to the little conflicts of camp life, to the latest gossip and rumors: "Do they have a plan to reclaim castle Llughen?" "Will it get a lot of us common soldiers killed?" "I hear they are going to attack!" "No, I heard that they try to strike a bargain with the powers that control the castle." "I heard that the Jhereg has strange elven magics that will drive back our enemies." "I heard all he has is pointy ears and a lot of talk." Much of it is trivial, but occasionally there is the germ of something of importance -- no worthy Anchor can afford to ignore anything she is told.
The people are anxious to talk about what is on their minds. Though it is known that Anchors never give their opinions on such matters in public, it is also a piece of folk knowledge that Anchors *know* things. "If this is what they tell, then surely there must be much they keep secret -- everybody has secrets and I says them Anchors has more'n most." So it is always a game with the audience to get the Anchor to say what she thinks about a topic, or to offer up some tidbit that shows she knows more than she is telling. Blackbird smiles at their questions, she enjoys the game, and knows that the mystery adds to the fun for the people, so she doesn't discourage it.
As she walks among the camps, she keeps an eye out for Jhereg, or others she might know.
Blackbird:
All sorts of interesting folk might be attracted to an undertaking such as this.